Niall Ferguson adds his name to the list of obsolete intellectuals

August 20, 2012

Niall Ferguson was not content to let so many of the other Big Name Thinkers gain attention through lapses in professionalism, oh no. He thought he would get in on the Race to Obsolescence with an Op-Ed about why Obama needs to lose that is so bad, I wonder what happened to the man who earned such credibility in the first place.

You can click the link and read the prose and decide for yourself. But here’s a paragraph that concerns me particularly:

I was a good loser four years ago. But this year, fired up by the rise of Ryan, I want badly to win.

Mr Ferguson, is not, to my knowledge, a US citizen, and as such has no business in making such self-interested comments about our country. I spend significant time in Canada and France, and I never have public opinions about their elections because it is none of my business. This piece is in bad taste.

Still, what drives a man of such accomplishment to write such limp prose with godawful logic? I am hereby naming a codicil entitled the Garland Authority/Quality Half-Life Coefficient, which is not scientific, but which may have a fake graph and some made up statistics added at a later time, befitting my hopes of becoming a science-lite author selling at airports. The GAQHLC describes the rate at which a certain intellectual’s work will decline in quality as their authority continues to climb through constant public relations efforts of various newspaper and television networks. About 95% of the world’s elite intellectuals are somewhere on this curve.

Ferguson is beginning the roller-coaster slide on the way down. Please note that you do not have a screen big enough to include Thomas Friedman on this chart. He is a statistical outlier, proving the theory too much to be valid.

 

  • http://jritchie.com Justin Ritchie

    Be careful, a graph that vague will land you on the TED talk circuit! Would like to see data points for Tom Friedman, David Brooks and Malcom Gladwell. This theory would mix well with pseudo-math formulas that adapt nuclear half life to intellectual decay relevance and a singularity point somewhere.

    The reality of the situation is somewhat understandable, once someone reaches the status of ‘public intellectual’ he or she is bombarded by so many requests to do things from other people, they are no longer able to absorb material that deeply challenges their worldview. Because their opinions justify the actions of the power elite, they are elevated to a large pedestal and become the mouthpiece for explanations that naturalize the system. I’m looking forward to the day when we stop paying attention to the intellectuals that are really just playing the role of shepherds at the head of a flock walking calmly towards a cliff.

    • http://www.ericgarland.co ericgarland

      I think you have a great handle on this. And yes, I’m going to add some unsourced data and cute anecdotes so I can sell books at airports.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1267180337 Hogan Haake

    Everything you need to know is taught on Television. Andy Bernard on “The Office”, a show that teaches us how to be productive office workers, teaches his rules to getting ahead; name repetition, personality mirroring, and never breaking off a handshake. [1] Once you learn those rules, you too could be famous. And maybe you’ll be able to pseudo-scientifically proove the GAQHLC. Just don’t ruin it with real data!

    ———————————————————————————————————————————–
    [1] – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andy_Bernard

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